FAQ

• nobody on here is honest or wants to meet an average single male i have had no luck so i will just forget this sight no offence it suckc
  
  
• Hi Sandi and Ted, I have been very busy and do want to rejoin. As an attached male ( with wife's knowledge ) I am not able to find the right couple or female so far. I am just looking for an open minded couple or female to have a discreet encounter with or just to watch and be friends with. I would like to attend swingers club but most only accept couples. I was wondering if you had any suggestions that could help me to find the right situation. Also lots of replies require a picture, how do I go about doing that? Your help is greatly appreciated!
  
  
• Dear Sandi or Ted, My husband and I are new to the swingers lifestyle. At this time we are more interested in bi-females and after looking through your magazine and site realized there were few listings for this category. Any suggestions as to where we might look? Your help would be appreciated. Thank you, Brenda
  
  
• I would appreciate your advice and some words of enuragement if you wouldn't mind taking a few moments!! We love your website and I'm sure I will upgrade my membership in the near future, but I wanted to hear your view on this first before I went ahead and upgraded only to have my hopes shot down once more!! Sorry for bothering you with this Sandi, but if you can't help us who can! right? RIGHT. Look forward to hearing from Sandi...bye now..TONY
  
  
• I'm sure you can understand why I would be discouraged by this, but not giving up entirely by no means! I did however manage to get a hold of one of the ad members and we emailed each other a couple of times and we were at the point of setting up a meeting time but have not been able to get a hold of her since? In her previous email she stated that she was experiencing trouble accessing her email but was still interested in getting together,so I replied back with my info but haven't heard back since but still keep trying once in awhile to get a hold of her,but still no luck! what would you suggest Sandi? My wife and I were both looking forward to this and don't want to give up and we talked about possibly attending a club function to observe and see what happens and perhaps take that route...what do you think Sandi? I'm sure you've heard this a lot Sandi but once again being new to the lifestyle and running into this wall can be discouraging? maybe I'm jumping the gun and overreacting?
  
  
• Hi Sandi! Just want to start off by commenting on how great you look!! I'm sure you've heard that a lot but I just wanted to let you know that you are a very attractive woman...keep it up!! Well Sandi the reason I writing you is that I just recently upgraded my bronze to silver membership(which has now expired) but didn't renew cause I can't help but feel a little discouraged, I'm sure you run into that scenario before, but in all honesty, both my wife and I were quite looking forward to possibly meeting up with someone...(we are new to this), which is why we were thiking to start off with a fantasy of ours, which is to have a threesome. I did send off a few responses to some ads with a brief summary of ourselves and in closing asked to please respond back with a short message even if not interested! Still have not received any response whatsoever from those ads, which did take me a bit of time to search the ads and respond..is this normal Sandi? should I try those ads again?
  
  
• Hi Sandi, thanks for the suggestion and I am sure our Ad will reach your readers. I just have a followup question, do you know if there are any live sex shows still in Ontario? Even Quebec? As you can tell we are new to this lifestyle but really would like to take in some of the excitement that surrounds it. Also are on-premise swinger parties a place where voyeurs are welcomed, is there open sex there in full view? If I am not correct in addressing these questions to you, please accept my apologies, is there an alternate place to email questions to. I know you must be pretty busy so I do not wish to bother you with questions. Thanks Again
  
  
• Hello Sandi and Ted, We have just placed an ad with TrystMag.com and have gold member status. We have placed ads in the past but have only met one couple here and there and nothing really came of it. We are now preening our feathers again and attempting to find that "perfect" or close to perfect couple for fun, frolicking, and erotic/sensous times. I personally would love another female and have threesomes but, I am adventurous and need some advice. I don't know how to ask the question, but here it goes and i hope that it warrants a reply. I turned 40 in August and the past year my sex drive has gone gone gone down low. It ebbs and flows. sometimes I can be so aroused and at other times I just want to be left to plop down on our bed and sleep. My husband is concerned and patient and I appreciate this. This is a change for us in our sex life. I know that something hormonal is happening to me and have checked with my doctor. He has welcomed me to the world of female perimenopause.....yukkkk!!! Since joining the ranks of the hot flashing, sometimes night sweating, low sex drive group of women at this stage of life, how do i get back into the "groove"...... as Austin Powers would say: " I want to shag you Baby"..... i want to get that "shagadelic" feeling and head space back. I want to feel sexy again and want to have sex more like we used to. My husband is ready and willing any time...he encourages this. Of course talking to my dr. about all of this is well a little embarrassing and when I did have the courage to talk to him, he just looked at me and told me that an attractive woman like me needs to have sex anyway even if the feeling is not there in order to please my husband. Of course I want to have sex with my husband and please him.... he just doesn't understand. He also prescribed drinking a glass of wine. I am the romantic, sometimes the "slut" in our relationship. My husband is quite sexual as well but right now is in neutral because of me. I want to get back to lighting candles, do the music thing, dress up, and now I have completely run out of ideas. Sandi, is it at all possible that maybe you could send me some ideas and tips or even information for the women who maybe having a little trouble turning it on or getting turned on like before. I think I am in a rut sexually and certainly need to climb out of it! I would appreciate any ideas you may have. Sincerely, Maria
  
  
• Hello Sandi. We are a couple who have tried a few ways of breaking into the swinger lifetstyle, unfortunately to no avail. Our question is what can two young eager people do to break in to the lifestyle while bypassing the whole internet/magazine ad correspondence. How do we jump into the action without the wait?
  
  
• Hi Sandy, For one it is really horrible the way some of the men talk to you on here, you are not a piece of meat and that is how they speak to you. But my question is..We are a married 32 year old couple. I am looking for a woman to explore with..possible couple but only intercourse with your partner and when im first with the lady i want my husband in the room to watch probably touch..do u and ted do this or just swapping and how hard is it to find this in the swinging enviroment?? Thanks for you time Laurie
  
  

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• nobody on here is honest or wants to meet an average single male i have had no luck so i will just forget this sight no offence it suckc
  
  I'm sorry it did not work out for you... but the reality is and always will be.... the couples and ladies are in control and for every one of them... there are 10 guys looking.... so you need to make yourself stand out in the crowd.... your ad.....
  Hello average white guy from Windsor is looking for open minded ladies and Couples for friendship and fun. i am clean shaven Blonde hair Blue eyes 6 ft tall 168 lbs. Love to laugh and am serious str8 not into head games
  makes you sound.... well ....average.... Sorry, but you asked... and I ALWAYS tell the truth.... Sandi
  
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• Hi Sandi and Ted, I have been very busy and do want to rejoin. As an attached male ( with wife's knowledge ) I am not able to find the right couple or female so far. I am just looking for an open minded couple or female to have a discreet encounter with or just to watch and be friends with. I would like to attend swingers club but most only accept couples. I was wondering if you had any suggestions that could help me to find the right situation. Also lots of replies require a picture, how do I go about doing that? Your help is greatly appreciated!
  
  It's a tough go for singles (even with their wife's permission) it is all a numbers game, the more you put yourself out there the better your chances.... I did find your ad.... Southern Ontario: Male in his early 40's 6'1" 195 Lbs seeks a mature couple or female for discreet safe sex encounters, fun and freindship. Looking froward to hearing from you a little sparse... and it contains 2 typos.... that would kill it for me.... Spelling REALLY counts when there a dozens of guys for every couple.... Sandi
  
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• Dear Sandi or Ted, My husband and I are new to the swingers lifestyle. At this time we are more interested in bi-females and after looking through your magazine and site realized there were few listings for this category. Any suggestions as to where we might look? Your help would be appreciated. Thank you, Brenda
  
  By limiting yourself to just Bi Females you are pretty well eliminating all chances of getting involved in the lifestyle. EVERYONE is looking for Bi Females and there just aren't enough to go around. There are lots of Bi ladies out there, it is just that most of them are married (and the ones that aren't.... aren't for good reason) . You might have better luck looking for a compatible couple where the lady is Bi... there are TONS of them out there... Sandi
  
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• I would appreciate your advice and some words of enuragement if you wouldn't mind taking a few moments!! We love your website and I'm sure I will upgrade my membership in the near future, but I wanted to hear your view on this first before I went ahead and upgraded only to have my hopes shot down once more!! Sorry for bothering you with this Sandi, but if you can't help us who can! right? RIGHT. Look forward to hearing from Sandi...bye now..TONY
  
  Meeting new friends is hard work and meeting single ladies is even harder. Hang in there, when you do meet that perfect lady or couple it will make all the hard work worth while. Ted and I met our very best friends through an ad in the magazine that we now own (long before we bought it) so we are living proof that it can and and does work, but you need to work at it.... Sandi
  
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• I'm sure you can understand why I would be discouraged by this, but not giving up entirely by no means! I did however manage to get a hold of one of the ad members and we emailed each other a couple of times and we were at the point of setting up a meeting time but have not been able to get a hold of her since? In her previous email she stated that she was experiencing trouble accessing her email but was still interested in getting together,so I replied back with my info but haven't heard back since but still keep trying once in awhile to get a hold of her,but still no luck! what would you suggest Sandi? My wife and I were both looking forward to this and don't want to give up and we talked about possibly attending a club function to observe and see what happens and perhaps take that route...what do you think Sandi? I'm sure you've heard this a lot Sandi but once again being new to the lifestyle and running into this wall can be discouraging? maybe I'm jumping the gun and overreacting?
  
  First thing is, you are REALLY limiting yourself by only looking for females.... there just aren't enough of them out there and they can pretty well pick and choose who they meet because it is them that are in demand not you. It is more than probable that she was getting ready to meet you two and a better offer came along. You should have much better luck meeting a couple where the lady is Bi.... there are many more of them. The club route is also a good way to meet, but I should warn you that Swingers are just regular folks.... very few of them fit the "Movie" stereotype (Barbie and Ken come to mind but I hate that stereotype) .... most of us are a little over weight (OK some are way overweight) , have for than a few years under our belt and very rarely live up to the "Fantasy" the we all have in our minds of the "average" Swinger.
  
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• Hi Sandi! Just want to start off by commenting on how great you look!! I'm sure you've heard that a lot but I just wanted to let you know that you are a very attractive woman...keep it up!! Well Sandi the reason I writing you is that I just recently upgraded my bronze to silver membership(which has now expired) but didn't renew cause I can't help but feel a little discouraged, I'm sure you run into that scenario before, but in all honesty, both my wife and I were quite looking forward to possibly meeting up with someone...(we are new to this), which is why we were thiking to start off with a fantasy of ours, which is to have a threesome. I did send off a few responses to some ads with a brief summary of ourselves and in closing asked to please respond back with a short message even if not interested! Still have not received any response whatsoever from those ads, which did take me a bit of time to search the ads and respond..is this normal Sandi? should I try those ads again?
  
  BIG problem, but the solution went online on Monday. I complexly rebuilt the ad reply system and all Email replies are now handled internally. Not only are you now able to track replies that you send out but you can now see when the person you responded to read your reply but they are now forced to reply to it before they can delete it from their InBox...
  
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• Hi Sandi, thanks for the suggestion and I am sure our Ad will reach your readers. I just have a followup question, do you know if there are any live sex shows still in Ontario? Even Quebec? As you can tell we are new to this lifestyle but really would like to take in some of the excitement that surrounds it. Also are on-premise swinger parties a place where voyeurs are welcomed, is there open sex there in full view? If I am not correct in addressing these questions to you, please accept my apologies, is there an alternate place to email questions to. I know you must be pretty busy so I do not wish to bother you with questions. Thanks Again
  
  Bad news.... live sex shows are illegal in Canada (as well as the US as far as I know) ... as well in my opinion (my lawyer makes me write that) On premise swing clubs in Ontario (and I assume the rest of Canada) are also illegal. I know that is not what some of the clubs will tell you..... but that is my opinion.... be VERY careful where sex and an audience are involved.... and yes, Emailing me questions in more than OK, just please check my FAQ section first to see if I have already answered it there... Sandi
  
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• Hello Sandi and Ted, We have just placed an ad with TrystMag.com and have gold member status. We have placed ads in the past but have only met one couple here and there and nothing really came of it. We are now preening our feathers again and attempting to find that "perfect" or close to perfect couple for fun, frolicking, and erotic/sensous times. I personally would love another female and have threesomes but, I am adventurous and need some advice. I don't know how to ask the question, but here it goes and i hope that it warrants a reply. I turned 40 in August and the past year my sex drive has gone gone gone down low. It ebbs and flows. sometimes I can be so aroused and at other times I just want to be left to plop down on our bed and sleep. My husband is concerned and patient and I appreciate this. This is a change for us in our sex life. I know that something hormonal is happening to me and have checked with my doctor. He has welcomed me to the world of female perimenopause.....yukkkk!!! Since joining the ranks of the hot flashing, sometimes night sweating, low sex drive group of women at this stage of life, how do i get back into the "groove"...... as Austin Powers would say: " I want to shag you Baby"..... i want to get that "shagadelic" feeling and head space back. I want to feel sexy again and want to have sex more like we used to. My husband is ready and willing any time...he encourages this. Of course talking to my dr. about all of this is well a little embarrassing and when I did have the courage to talk to him, he just looked at me and told me that an attractive woman like me needs to have sex anyway even if the feeling is not there in order to please my husband. Of course I want to have sex with my husband and please him.... he just doesn't understand. He also prescribed drinking a glass of wine. I am the romantic, sometimes the "slut" in our relationship. My husband is quite sexual as well but right now is in neutral because of me. I want to get back to lighting candles, do the music thing, dress up, and now I have completely run out of ideas. Sandi, is it at all possible that maybe you could send me some ideas and tips or even information for the women who maybe having a little trouble turning it on or getting turned on like before. I think I am in a rut sexually and certainly need to climb out of it! I would appreciate any ideas you may have. Sincerely, Maria
  
  Hmmmmmmmm good question but not something I'm really qualified to answer. Anything I know on Menopause.... I learned from my DR. .... Here is his site... it will take some reading but I'm sure he/it can help you... http://www.drkomer.com/ .... Sandi
  
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• Hello Sandi. We are a couple who have tried a few ways of breaking into the swinger lifetstyle, unfortunately to no avail. Our question is what can two young eager people do to break in to the lifestyle while bypassing the whole internet/magazine ad correspondence. How do we jump into the action without the wait?
  
  It is a lot harder than anyone on the outside looking in would ever believe to meet that "Special" couple or single. The only real way to "Jump" in fast is to pick a Club and go home with the first couple that will "Have" you... not MY idea of a good time, but it does bypass all of the "Dating" phase... Sandi
  
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• Hi Sandy, For one it is really horrible the way some of the men talk to you on here, you are not a piece of meat and that is how they speak to you. But my question is..We are a married 32 year old couple. I am looking for a woman to explore with..possible couple but only intercourse with your partner and when im first with the lady i want my husband in the room to watch probably touch..do u and ted do this or just swapping and how hard is it to find this in the swinging enviroment?? Thanks for you time Laurie
  
  You're right, some of the guys around here ARE rude (and they are the ones that never meet anyone), but they are few and far between. Most of them are GREAT, and some of them really know how to treat a lady (nudge nudge wink wink)

  Meeting a single lady is always tough, there are just not enough to go around (and Ted and I keep all the really good ones for ourselves :-) BUT, they are out there, they just generally don't place ads because they get pounced on. So the short answer is... yes, there are ladies out there that want to play... the long answer is...it's not going to be easy to find one, but it is possible... Sandi
  
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